Wednesday, July 30, 2014

a dance



 Some time ago, a friend wrote about her appreciation for the beauty of a day when she completed all her errands in order and as planned. I know what she meant, for I, too, appreciate the well-executed Dance of Efficiency. 

Not surprisingly, I find my life happier and far less stressful with carefully crafted routines and rituals. Each morning, I wake to my morning ablutions, all in the same order. It is the small things, like music when I shower; my razor right where I left it. In general, I am a moderately organized person. I am not organized for the sake of organization; rather, for the effects. I smile a little when I run out of shaving cream, open the cabinet and there is a spare. It’s like a dance, almost graceful. 

I like traveling. Long ago, I dreaded the logistics of the trip, but loved the destination. I had a few wonderful vacations where the joy of the arrival was heightened by the adrenaline of the air travel. I once forgot about a sailing knife in my bag. TSA reminded me about it, before taking  it away. I liked that knife. I once forgot about the time difference in the Dallas airport. Wow, that was some excitement! Over time, however, I made friends with air travel, developing an almost-religious set of rituals. I find it surprisingly gratifying to walk serenely through the security checkpoint, greeting TSA with a smile, then putting my shoes back on before a drink in the airport bar. There is almost always a swirl of angry chaos in this place, yet it doesn’t quite touch me; it’s like a rabid dog, but I know exactly how long its leash.

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

comfort




I think, ultimately, I am immature; childish, even. As evidence, my ongoing desire to keep the “long-distance” in my long-distance relationship. (I visited Jenn for a long weekend and we were talking about it).

First, my work. I have often said that Jenn would be the ruin of my career. One cannot thrive at the office by coming in late, going home early, and taking long lunches in the middle. Should I grow up, move her in, and change our relationship to fit my work needs? Hmmm…

Next, there’s me. Unsurprisingly, I gained weight over the holiday. I ate like a king, drank like a sailor, and took a vacation from exercise. With ready access to my GF, would I watch my weight? Evidence suggests otherwise. Would I really get out to ride my bike if she, and that delightful perfume, were under my roof? Hey, I’m not sure I want her seeing me sweat and yelling obscenities at the skinny POS that recorded my exercise tapes.

Then there’s her, too. Jenn is an independent woman with her own interests, obligations and exercise routines. I want to be the type of boyfriend that brings her spiked coffee and breakfast in bed; not the type that encourages her to pop P90X into the DVD player. No, that’s for HER time and I like making sure she has that time by staying 2200 miles away.

A wise young woman posted a quote somewhere: “The lust for comfort murders the passions of the soul.” This has me wondering about the nature of a comfort in a relationship. What would I be murdering if I served up a comfortable, lusty breakfast in bed every day?

…let’s not risk it.